This or That Questions
101 questions · By Dima Tretyak, creator of DeepTalk · Updated
This or that is would you rather at twice the speed: two options, one word, no explaining until everyone has picked. It sounds too simple to be interesting, and then someone says they prefer cake to pie and the whole table has an opinion.
The questions below are grouped by theme, from couples and food to texting and a handful of genuinely tough choices. Use them to fill a quiet car ride, get to know someone new or keep a chat going. A few come from the Rapid Fire deck in the DeepTalk app, and the rest were written for this page.
This or that questions for couples
Quick picks about love and dates. Guess your partner's answer before they say it.
- 1Breakfast in bed or dinner out?
- 2Handwritten note or surprise gift?
- 3Movie night on the couch or a night out dancing?
- 4Plan the date or be surprised?
- 5Matching pajamas or matching tattoos?
- 6Big wedding or elope?
- 7Slow dance in the kitchen or a road-trip singalong?
- 8Say "I love you" first or hear it first?
- 9Cuddle on the couch or hold hands on a walk?
- 10Couples costume or separate costumes?
- 11One long anniversary trip or a date night every week?
- 12Love letter or voice note?
Food this or that questions
The fastest way to find out who you'd never split a pizza with.
- 13Tacos or sushi?
- 14Pancakes or waffles?
- 15Fries or onion rings?
- 16Ice cream in a cone or a cup?
- 17Spicy or mild?
- 18Homemade pasta or takeout pizza?
- 19Iced coffee or hot chocolate?
- 20Salsa or guacamole?
- 21Brunch or late-night snacks?
- 22Butter popcorn or caramel popcorn?
- 23Cake or pie?
- 24Coffee or tea?
Rather play than scroll? DeepTalk deals these out one card at a time.
Travel this or that questions
Useful before booking a trip together. Or before agreeing to share a car for eight hours.
- 25Window seat or aisle seat?
- 26Road trip or flight?
- 27Hotel or vacation rental?
- 28Pack light or pack everything?
- 29Museums or hiking trails?
- 30Paris or Tokyo?
- 31Camping under the stars or a cabin with a fireplace?
- 32Guidebook or tips from locals?
- 33Tropical island or snowy mountain town?
- 34Solo trip or group trip?
- 35Souvenirs or photos?
Lifestyle and habits
Tiny daily choices that say more than you'd think.
- 36Make the bed or leave it?
- 37Gym in the morning or after work?
- 38Paper planner or phone calendar?
- 39Cash or card?
- 40Walk or bike?
- 41Candles or fairy lights?
- 42Podcast on the commute or silence?
- 43Loud music while cleaning or cleaning in silence?
- 44Ten-step skincare or splash of water?
- 45Save up for one big thing or treat yourself often?
- 46Tidy desk or organized chaos?
- 47Early bird or night owl?
Movies, music and entertainment
For picking tonight's plan, or finding out your partner has terrible taste in movies.
- 48Horror movie or rom-com?
- 49Binge the whole season or one episode a night?
- 50Live concert or music festival?
- 51Vinyl or streaming?
- 52Board games or video games?
- 53Marvel or DC?
- 54Old sitcom rerun or a brand-new show?
- 55Audiobook or paperback?
- 56Karaoke night or trivia night?
- 57Movie theater or watching at home?
- 58Reality TV or true crime?
- 59Throwback playlist or new releases?
Personality this or that questions
Short answers that reveal a lot. Ask "why?" if an answer surprises you.
- 60Give advice or take advice?
- 61Optimist or realist?
- 62Follow your heart or your head?
- 63First to the party or fashionably late?
- 64Overthinker or overpacker?
- 65Big group or small circle?
- 66Spill everything or stay a little mysterious?
- 67Competitive or just here for fun?
- 68Adventurous or cautious?
- 69Sentimental or practical?
- 70First to apologize or first to forgive?
- 71Dogs or cats?
This or that questions over text
Rapid-fire picks for a slow chat. Answer in one word, explain later.
- 72Voice note or long text?
- 73Emojis or no emojis?
- 74Reply right away or leave it for later?
- 75"Haha" or "lol"?
- 76Good morning text or good night text?
- 77Memes or selfies?
- 78Group chat or one-on-one?
- 79Read receipts on or off?
- 80One long paragraph or five short texts?
- 81GIF or sticker?
Home and weekend
For planning a Saturday, or settling an old debate about Sunday.
- 82Sleep in or early brunch?
- 83Farmers market or flea market?
- 84Rainy day inside or sunny day at the park?
- 85Try a new recipe or make your go-to?
- 86Clean on Saturday or put it off until Sunday?
- 87Houseplants or a pet?
- 88Lazy Sunday or productive Sunday?
- 89Game night at home or bowling?
- 90Hammock in the backyard or balcony with a view?
- 91Sunrise or sunset?
Tough this or that questions
Harder picks that need a minute of thought. For even harder ones, try our would you rather questions.
- 92Know how your life story ends or be surprised?
- 93A big house far from friends or a small apartment next door to them?
- 94Be right or be happy?
- 95One perfect day you won't remember or an ordinary day you'll never forget?
- 96Money to travel with no time off or time off with no money?
- 97Win the argument or keep the peace?
- 98A friend who's honest even when it stings or one who's kind even when it's not the whole truth?
- 99Famous today or remembered in a hundred years?
- 100Relive your best day once or skip your worst day entirely?
- 101Meet your soulmate at 20 or at 40?
How to use these questions
- Go fast. Read the options, pick in one word, move on. Speed is the whole point.
- Explain only the surprises. When an answer catches someone off guard, stop and ask why.
- Guess first. With a partner or close friend, predict their pick before they answer.
- Over text, send five at once and let the other person reply with just their picks.
- Save the tough choices for the end of a round, when everyone's warmed up.
Play them as cards instead
The Rapid Fire deck in DeepTalk has 102 questions like these, one card at a time, plus 19 other decks for couples and friends.
Frequently asked questions
What are this or that questions?
They're quick either-or questions, like "Tacos or sushi?" or "Early bird or night owl?" You pick one option without overthinking it. They're used as icebreakers, getting-to-know-you games and texting conversation starters.
What are good this or that questions for couples?
Couples questions focus on dates, affection and habits you share, like "Plan the date or be surprised?" or "Cuddle on the couch or hold hands on a walk?" Try guessing your partner's answer before they give it.
How do you play this or that over text?
Send a handful of questions in one message and ask for one-word answers. Then pick the most surprising answer and ask about it. The over-text section above is written for exactly that.
What's the difference between this or that and would you rather?
This or that is faster and usually about preferences, like food or music. Would you rather adds a scenario and a real trade-off, so answers take longer and lead to bigger debates.