Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
82 questions · By Dima Tretyak, creator of DeepTalk · Updated
You already know her coffee order and her favorite show. The questions below go after the stuff that doesn't come up on its own: the lesson she learned the hard way, the date she'd repeat every month, the thing she wishes you understood without having to explain it.
They're grouped by mood, so you can pick a few cute ones for a text, a funny round for a long drive, or the bigger questions for a slow evening together. Some come from the question decks in the DeepTalk app, and the rest were written for this page.
Questions to get to know her better
For a new relationship, or for filling in the chapters of her life you've never heard about.
- 1What's a tradition from your family you'd never give up?
- 2Who was your favorite teacher, and what did they see in you?
- 3What's something you taught yourself that you're proud of?
- 4What were you obsessed with at thirteen?
- 5What's a place that feels like home to you, even if you never lived there?
- 6What does your ideal Saturday morning look like, down to the details?
- 7Which friend would you call first with good news, and why them?
- 8What's a book, show or album that changed how you see things?
- 9What's a compliment you still remember years later?
Deep questions to ask your girlfriend
Best in person, when you have time to follow the answer wherever it goes.
- 10What's something you've had to unlearn about yourself?
- 11When have you felt the bravest?
- 12What do you think people get wrong about you at first?
- 13What's a lesson you picked up from watching the adults around you growing up?
- 14What's a dream you quietly let go of, and do you ever miss it?
- 15What does taking care of yourself look like when things get hard?
- 16What's something you're still figuring out about who you are?
- 17When do you feel most listened to?
- 18What's a decision you made that changed the direction of your life?
- 19What helps you feel safe in a relationship?
Rather play than scroll? DeepTalk deals these out one card at a time.
Cute and romantic questions
Sweet enough for a date night, easy enough for a text. For more, see our love and romance questions.
- 20What was going through your head on our first date?
- 21When did you start liking me more than you were letting on?
- 22What's your favorite way for me to show you I'm thinking about you?
- 23What's a date we've been on that you'd happily repeat every month?
- 24What song reminds you of us, and when did it start?
- 25What's the cutest thing I've done without realizing it?
- 26What's something I say that you'd never want me to stop saying?
- 27What's your idea of a perfect romantic date?
- 28What makes you feel most loved?
- 29What's your favorite love story, real or fictional?
Questions to ask your girlfriend over text
Quick to answer between classes or meetings. More in our conversation starters for texting.
- 30What's the best thing you ate today?
- 31What's something small that annoyed you today?
- 32What's the last video that made you laugh out loud?
- 33If we had a free day tomorrow, what would you want to do?
- 34What's one thing on your to-do list you keep avoiding?
- 35What's a random thought you had today that you'd only tell me?
- 36What show are you watching right now, and should I start it?
- 37What's the next trip you'd book if someone else paid?
- 38What's something you're proud of from this week?
- 39How would you rate your day from one to ten, and why?
Funny questions to ask your girlfriend
For when the conversation needs less depth and more laughing.
- 40What's the most ridiculous argument you've ever won?
- 41Which celebrity do you think would be the worst roommate?
- 42What's a trend you followed that you now regret?
- 43What's a fear you know makes no sense but have anyway?
- 44If your pet, or your dream pet, could talk, what would it complain about?
- 45What's the most useless thing you've ever bought on impulse?
- 46What's a word you always mispronounce?
- 47If you had your own talk show, who would be your first guest?
- 48What would your reality TV show be called?
Would you rather questions for your girlfriend
Quick picks that turn into debates. Want more? Try our would you rather questions.
- 49Would you rather go on a picnic in the park or a rooftop dinner in the city?
- 50Would you rather get surprise voice notes from me or little notes hidden around the house?
- 51Would you rather spend a rainy weekend in a cabin or a sunny weekend at the beach?
- 52Would you rather have me plan every date for a month or take turns?
- 53Would you rather travel back to meet your younger self or forward to meet your older self?
- 54Would you rather have a dog together or a cat together?
- 55Would you rather receive flowers or a handwritten letter?
- 56Would you rather be famous for your talent or secretly rich?
Questions about your relationship
A check-in, not an exam. Ask because you're curious, and take the answer seriously.
- 57What's something I do that makes you feel taken care of?
- 58What's a recent moment with me you keep thinking about?
- 59What's something you wish I understood better about you?
- 60How can I tell when you need space versus when you need me close?
- 61What's a small change that would make our week-to-week life better?
- 62What's something about us that your friends notice first?
- 63How do you like me to show up when you're stressed about work or family?
- 64What's something I did early on that made you trust me?
- 65What do you need more of from me right now, and what do you need less of?
Questions to ask when it's getting serious
The practical talks that are easier to have early than late.
- 66What does a healthy relationship look like to you, based on the ones you've seen?
- 67How do you feel about sharing finances someday?
- 68What would our place need to have for it to feel like home to you?
- 69How close do you want to live to your family long term?
- 70What's something from your past relationships you don't want to repeat?
- 71How do you want to handle holidays between our families?
- 72What would getting married actually change for you, if anything?
- 73How do you see your career and our relationship fitting together in the next few years?
- 74What does being a team mean to you when life gets hard?
Questions about the future
Big-picture dreaming, for a slow evening with nowhere to be.
- 75What's a city you'd want us to live in for at least a year?
- 76What's one place you want us to travel to together?
- 77What's a goal you want to reach in the next five years?
- 78How do you want us to celebrate big milestones?
- 79What's your biggest hope for us?
- 80What does growing old together look like in your head?
- 81What's one adventure you want us to have before we settle down?
- 82What do you hope an ordinary weekday looks like for us in five years?
How to use these questions
- Pick a few, not a list. Three good questions with real follow-ups beat twenty in a row.
- Follow up on the details. "Wait, what happened then?" shows you're actually listening.
- Use the cute and over-text sections for everyday messages, and keep the deep and serious ones for time together in person.
- Answer every question yourself too, so it feels like a conversation and not a quiz.
- If a question lands badly, drop it and move on. You can always come back to it another day.
Play them as cards instead
DeepTalk deals questions like these one card at a time, with 20 decks and over 2,000 questions for couples and friends.
Frequently asked questions
What are good questions to ask your girlfriend?
Good questions are open-ended and specific to her life, like "What's a date we've been on that you'd happily repeat every month?" or "What's something you taught yourself that you're proud of?" Mix light and deeper ones, and follow up on what she says instead of jumping to the next question.
What are some deep questions to ask your girlfriend?
Try questions about how she became who she is, like "What's something you've had to unlearn about yourself?" or "What's a decision you made that changed the direction of your life?" Ask them in person, when you both have time, and share your own answers too.
What are cute questions to ask your girlfriend over text?
Keep them light and easy to answer: "What's the best thing you ate today?", "What's a random thought you had today that you'd only tell me?" or "What song reminds you of us?" Save the heavier relationship questions for when you're together.
How do I ask my girlfriend serious questions without making it awkward?
Pick a relaxed moment, start with something lighter, and frame it as curiosity rather than a test. Going first with your own answer helps. If she's not ready to talk, let it go and bring it up another time.