Questions to Get to Know Someone
111 questions · By Dima Tretyak, creator of DeepTalk · Updated
Getting to know someone takes more than "So, what do you do?" Good questions are open, a little specific and easy to answer honestly. They give the other person room to tell a story instead of a one-word reply.
The questions below start easy and get deeper as you go. There are sections for a guy, a girl, a first date, texting and new friends, plus questions about values and family for when you've talked a few times.
Easy questions to get to know someone
Light starters for a first conversation. Nothing here needs a long answer, but most of them lead somewhere.
- 1What's something you did this week that you'd happily do again?
- 2What kind of weather puts you in the best mood?
- 3What's a dish you order every time you see it on a menu?
- 4What's the last thing you made from scratch?
- 5What's a store you can't walk past without going in?
- 6What's a skill people usually come to you for help with?
- 7What's a restaurant you've been meaning to try?
- 8What holiday would you celebrate twice a year if you could?
- 9What's a tiny daily ritual you'd hate to give up?
- 10What's a small habit that makes your week run smoother?
- 11What's the oldest thing you still use every day?
Fun questions to get to know someone
Silly on the surface, but the answers tell you a lot about a person's sense of humor. Good for a crush, a new friend or a group.
- 12What's a cartoon you'd still watch on a Saturday morning?
- 13What's the weirdest job you've ever had or applied for?
- 14Which fictional world would you move to if you had to pick one?
- 15If you got a pet tomorrow, what would you name it?
- 16What's a souvenir you brought home that makes no sense out of context?
- 17What's the best costume you've ever worn?
- 18If you opened a tiny shop, what would it sell?
- 19What's the strangest thing you've ever won?
- 20Which reality show do you think you could actually win?
- 21What's the closest you've come to meeting someone famous?
- 22What's a hobby you gave up on after one try?
Rather play than scroll? DeepTalk deals these out one card at a time.
Deep questions to get to know someone
For when the small talk is done and you both want more. Ask one, then listen and follow up before moving on.
- 23What's a belief you grew up with that you've rethought as an adult?
- 24What's something someone said to you years ago that you still think about?
- 25Where in your life would you like to be braver?
- 26What's something about yourself you're working on right now?
- 27Who in your life do you wish you'd thanked properly?
- 28What's something hard you did that you're proud of now?
- 29What do people get wrong when they try to cheer you up?
- 30What does it take for you to feel safe opening up to someone?
- 31What's a different life you sometimes imagine living?
- 32What's something about you that people usually get wrong at first?
- 33What would you want someone to know about you before they get close?
Questions to ask a guy to get to know him
Questions about his friends, his family and how he spends his free time. Most start with a story, so they're easy to answer.
- 34Who showed you what kind of man you wanted to be?
- 35How did you meet your oldest friend?
- 36What do you do when you need to get something off your chest?
- 37What's a game or team you get way too into watching?
- 38What's a skill someone older taught you that you still use?
- 39What's the last thing a friend did that made you proud of them?
- 40What's a movie scene that gets to you every time?
- 41What kind of trouble did you get into as a teenager?
- 42What do you do on a Sunday when nobody needs anything from you?
- 43What's a project you'd start if you had a free month?
- 44What's the most fun you've had with your friends this year?
Questions to ask a girl to get to know her
Questions about the people, places and small rituals that matter to her.
- 45Which woman in your family taught you the most?
- 46What's a friendship that shaped who you are today?
- 47What's a risk you took that really paid off?
- 48What's a solo trip you've taken or want to take?
- 49What does a perfect Friday night look like for you right now?
- 50What's a book you keep telling your friends to read?
- 51What's something you'd never get tired of talking about?
- 52What's a side of you that only comes out with close friends?
- 53What's a little ritual that makes you feel like yourself?
- 54What's an opinion you've gotten louder about as you've gotten older?
- 55Who do you call first when something great happens?
Questions to get to know someone on a first date
Easy enough for the first hour, personal enough to tell you if you want a second date. Share your own answers too.
- 56What would you be doing tonight if you weren't here?
- 57What's a plan you're excited about this month?
- 58What's something you're a total beginner at right now?
- 59What part of your day do you look forward to most?
- 60What's a talent of yours that surprises people?
- 61What would your best friend want me to know about you?
- 62What's something you love doing that you'd want a partner to join in on?
- 63What's your favorite spot in town that most people don't know about?
- 64What's been on your mind lately that has nothing to do with work?
- 65What's the last thing that surprised you about yourself?
- 66What's a story from this past year you'll be telling for a long time?
Questions to get to know someone over text
Short, easy to type and easy to answer from a phone, and each one works as an opener when a chat goes quiet. More in our texting conversation starters.
- 67What did your morning look like today?
- 68If you could only ask me one question, what would it be?
- 69What's the most interesting thing within arm's reach right now?
- 70What's your plan for the rest of tonight?
- 71What's the last thing you ordered for delivery?
- 72What's the last thing you saved to watch later?
- 73Which browser tab has been open the longest?
- 74What's the best thing that happened to you today?
- 75What's something new you learned this week?
- 76What's an account you follow that always makes your day?
- 77What's a song you've had on repeat lately?
Questions about values, family and the future
What someone cares about, where they come from and where they're headed. Save these for when you've talked a few times, and let them skip anything.
- 78What's something your family did differently from most families you knew?
- 79What's a family rule you still follow even though nobody's making you?
- 80What role did you play in your family growing up?
- 81What's a dish that tastes like your childhood?
- 82Which couple you know do you look up to?
- 83What kind of place do you picture yourself settling down in?
- 84What's a family tradition you'd want to keep going?
- 85What's something you'd love to be doing a few years from now?
- 86What's a small everyday thing that makes someone a good person in your book?
- 87What do you hope people say about you when you're 80?
- 88What's something the people who raised you would be surprised to know about you now?
Questions to get to know a new friend
For a friend of a friend, a neighbor or someone you met at a party. These help you find out what kind of friendship you could have.
- 89What's a group activity you've always been curious about?
- 90What kind of invite would you never turn down?
- 91Who's a friend you clicked with right away?
- 92What role do you usually end up playing in a group chat?
- 93What kind of friend are you when things go wrong?
- 94What's the best way to win you over as a friend?
- 95What do you miss about the friendships you had as a kid?
- 96What's your go-to way to cheer up a friend?
- 97What's a free hangout you'd pick over a fancy night out?
- 98What's a small thing that makes you feel welcome in a new group?
- 99What's something you've been wanting to try but don't want to do alone?
Quick get to know you questions
Rapid-fire questions with short answers. Take turns asking them, in person or over text.
- 100What's your favorite word?
- 101What color would you paint your front door?
- 102What's your signature dance move?
- 103What's your lucky number?
- 104What's your favorite thing to order at a bakery?
- 105What's the best view you've ever seen?
- 106What's your star sign?
- 107What's your favorite way to waste ten minutes?
- 108What's the best gift you've ever gotten?
- 109What's a song you know every word to?
- 110What's your go-to road trip snack?
- 111What's an album you could play start to finish without skipping?
How to use these questions
- Start with easy or fun questions and save the deep ones for when the conversation feels relaxed.
- Answer your own question too. Getting to know someone goes both ways.
- Follow up. "What happened next?" often gets a better answer than a new question.
- Three to five good questions are plenty for a first chat or a first date.
- Let people skip. If a question doesn't land, laugh it off and move on.
- Match the depth to how well you know the person. Values and family questions fit better after a few conversations.
- Over text, send one question at a time and wait for the answer.
Play them as cards instead
DeepTalk deals questions like these one card at a time, with 20 decks and over 2,000 questions for couples and friends.
Frequently asked questions
What are good questions to get to know someone?
Open questions that invite a story, like "What's the oldest thing you still use every day?", "What kind of invite would you never turn down?" or "What's a belief you grew up with that you've rethought as an adult?" Avoid questions that can be answered with yes or no, and ask a follow-up when an answer gets interesting.
What are deep questions to get to know someone?
Questions about what shaped them and what they care about: "What's something someone said to you years ago that you still think about?", "What does it take for you to feel safe opening up to someone?" or "What role did you play in your family growing up?" Ask them one-on-one, once you both feel comfortable, and share your own answers too.
What should you ask a guy or a girl to get to know them?
Ask about their people, their habits and their stories, not their looks or their dating history. Good examples are "How did you meet your oldest friend?", "Who do you call first when something great happens?" and "What do you do on a Sunday when nobody needs anything from you?"
How do you get to know someone over text?
Send short questions that are easy to answer from a phone, like "What's the last thing you saved to watch later?" or "If you could only ask me one question, what would it be?" Ask one at a time, reply to what they say before asking the next one, and save deeper questions for a call or meeting in person.
What questions should you avoid early on?
Skip questions about money, exes, past trauma, bodies and sex until you know each other well. Avoid using religion or politics as a test, and don't ask several personal questions in a row. If someone gives a short answer, take the hint and change the subject.
How many questions should you ask on a first date?
There's no fixed number, but three to five good questions with real follow-ups usually beat twenty quick ones. Aim for about equal talking time, and answer your own questions so it feels like a conversation, not an interview.
Related collections
Want questions from several collections at once? Try the question generator: pick who you're asking, the mood and the occasion.